Q&A. An RA’s Perspective: Olivia Torte

By Serena Jeypaul

Olivia Torte, senior, (also known as Liv around campus) has been serving as an RA this year in the Sweazy dorm. In this Q&A, she gives us an inside perspective into what it’s like being an RA– the responsibilities, the joys, the hardships, and the motivations behind it all. She shares how the Lord has been growing her through this experience and well as the wisdom she’s learned so far that we can also be thinking about as we seek to serve the Lord through sacrificially serving those around us.

What prompted you into wanting to become an RA?

I think that one of the main things among many things was that … I was coming off a season of life where I was just realizing the value of sisterhood honestly, and friendship in the Lord and how much we need each other as sisters in Christ. And so, when I came to campus, I was just really blessed by all of the girls that I was starting to get to know at TMU and even on my wing and just getting to grow in fellowship with my wing, and realizing how important it is that we know each other and encourage each other in Christ. Yeah, so I think it was just those– in big ways and little ways– just wanting to be able to facilitate that and encourage that and be someone that kind of just helped that along in any way that I could.

What are some things that you were expecting while preparing to become an RA as well as some things that you weren’t that you now know in your experience so far?

Good question… things I expected– I expected to be bad at the practical side of things because I know that’s one of my weaknesses, like planning events and following through with them. And, I expected to see that would be something I would struggle with, but I really wanted to grow in that, so I was excited to see how the Lord would use being an RA to grow me in that, and kind of force me into a place where I had to do it even though it wasn’t my strong suit and still isn’t, but we’re trying (laughs). Something I also expected, maybe on a more positive note… I just expected honestly that the Lord would answer prayer; like I remember praying over the summer and thinking that I want to be believing that the Lord will answer these things because they’re for His glory, so praying that the Lord would give me a wing that would love one another well and serve one another in little ways, and just to pray expectantly. I think sometimes we don’t do that enough, like not that we deserve these things from the Lord, but just to be like ‘Lord, I want this for Your glory, so please do it.’, and to see Him answer that prayer even despite my failure to orchestrate things… like I’ve gotten to see you guys, like my wing, just love one another in really small, but tangible ways and even in bigger ways of just caring for one another, so that’s been a really sweet thing to just witness. 

And then I guess something that I didn’t expect… I think that especially with the RA team this year, I didn’t expect to– or maybe I just didn’t think about it as much– I didn’t expect to grow so close in friendship; like I knew that we’d be serving together and that would be really sweet and to get to know each other more; but, just to grow in friendship in a way that has been very … honestly unifying our hearts with one another and having joys together and sorrows together and just the different things that have gone on throughout the semester and how we’ve had to grow as an RA team and carry one another’s burdens and care for one another and even just have compassion for one another. I didn’t expect how much my heart would just be so I guess unified with them as my sisters and friends and just the things the Lord would have us walk together in order to love one another and learn of Who He is together, so that has been something that has been something really sweet and unexpected. 

The practical side of things– so you’re an RA, but you’re also a GO leader, and you have church involvement, and a social life– how do you balance everything?

Uhhh, I don’t… I fail. (laughs) … No, it’s true, I do fail. I mean, yeah like I fail at it sometimes; but I think it’s just learning how to be a good steward. I’ve been thinking lately this week of how the Lord has entrusted things to me and I want to honor Him with them, so I think always remembering that everything I have, the Lord has entrusted to me. So seeking to honor Him first with those things and not trying to just succeed in any one area because I think that is when I fail, when I’m trying to be like ‘Okay, I just want to be a great friend and please these people.’ or if I want to prove myself as like ‘Yes, I’m good at being involved in my church.’ or different things like that; but, when I do that, I’m too hyper focused on one area and there’s just so much that’s required of you, especially as a student too; it’s like academically there’s things and I need to be diligent. 

So ultimately realizing that everything has been given to me– like my friendships, my church, my role as an RA, my role as a GO leader; and so to the best of my capability to honor the Lord with those things and in turn, balancing them… it reminds me of just seeking the Lord first and all of these things will be added unto you. I do worry sometimes like, ‘Okay, am I investing too much in this one area and neglecting this one?’; but, ultimately it comes back to when I’m seeking the Lord, I realize that all of those things really become so much more natural and not in that means they’re easy, but it really does just flow out of seeking the Lord first. So, I think that’s the way I balance it, if I do balance it. But there are so many times when I fail that, and so recognizing that too and just coming to the Lord and acknowledging that too even throughout it because it’s just such a learning process of figuring out how to balance things. 

What has the Lord taught you about servant leadership? And, how has being an RA sanctified you so far?

Oh man, it’s so good. It’s so hard and humbling, but I think servant leadership… I love like Brett Zamroz said this at one of our RA classes: “They work hard at being low.”. And so in so many ways, just like taking the backseat and putting others’ interests above your own, and that’s very unnatural to us so I’ve really bogged up against my flesh in trying to do that and I’ve seen just how selfish I am; but, at the same time, it’s been encouraging that the Lord has exposed those areas where I didn’t realize how selfish I was so I could grow in that and look to Him for help in those areas. I think honestly just growing and seeing Christ’s humility has been a big thing, like acknowledging what He’s done for me and having to think on that when I’m tempted to just have my own way or get my own way or retreat if I feel like I’m just overwhelmed, but I want to serve… because there will be a lot of times in this job where you feel overwhelmed and it feels too much if you’re trying to do it in your own strength. But when I look to the Lord and I see what He’s done, it enables that ability to work hard at being low, like get lowly and serve. 

And then also just the way… I feel like even my perception last year was so different from what I thought being an RA was going to be like; like I imagined myself teaching these Bible studies at wing study, or whatever it may be, and being a lot of more of a leader, like superior in a sense. But it really is– while we do have authority as RAs, it’s given to us by not only the school, but by the Lord and we should enforce that and be responsible with that– it’s also just like coming alongside people and acknowledging like ‘I’m just like you; like I’m a student and a friend and we’re growing through life together and learning together and trying to walk with the Lord and honor Him’. And so just being honest enough with myself and with people to lead in a way that’s not a façade. Like I really pray that the Lord would just help me be authentic in that and I have also failed at that at times, but just seeing the benefit of being vulnerable and being willing to come low in that sense with people and showing them that ‘Yeah, I fall short too and I’m trying to walk alongside you in this, but we’re both just trying follow the Lord and imitate Christ.’, and ultimately that’s what I hope to do.  

What is your advice for prospective RAs and WAs?

I would say the first thing would be [check] your motivation, like why do you want to do it? Because there’s so many reasons that you could want to do it– like because you want to be more involved and part of the school or because you know that it comes with a scholarship or because it seems like something that would be really fun. And while all of those are not necessarily wrong motivations, because we can have multiple motivations for doing something, I think just the main motivation should be to want to love God and love people in this job because I really think that nothing else is going to keep you wanting to do it over time other than that, because when all of those things add up, it really doesn’t outweigh…  like yeah, it can be hard at times and there’s moments where you will come up against like, ‘Why am I doing this?’ and ‘What am I doing it for?’ and ultimately if it’s not the Lord and it’s not to love the girls– or for like guys, the guys on your wing– or the girls on your wing, that motivation can quickly become just not enough to spur you on to do it, but if I can remember that I have wanted to do this for the right reasons, then even in those time of ‘This is really hard’ or ‘This is a lot; I’m busy with school and don’t really feel like doing my RA tasks right now’, what’s going to keep you going in doing it faithfully is just the right motivation. So, I think checking your heart there first and for most and just asking the Lord, ‘Is there somewhere where I would be useful?’ and asking Him that because you really do want it for His glory, not your own– or should; and I know that I’ve been guilty of that, just having wrong motivation, but I think that checking your heart there. 

And my other advice would be not thinking that just because your personality or your giftings are different than another, that you can’t be a good RA because you don’t see yourself being similar as some RAs that you see, because there are so many different types of people that are serving as RAs even that I can think of now and while we have different personalities and different giftings in areas that we’re strong and weak, I think that if you’re willing to learn and the Lord makes it clear that He wants to use you in this area, then just trust that He will equip you to do it and not compare… comparison I think can be a hard thing when you’re seeking to do anything and so that’s something I’ve had to learn a lot is that; I think for me it was a prideful thing of like I thought I was going to be a good RA because I was already pretty social and outgoing; but, then it’s just like acknowledging that it’s not any of those things that grants you this, but growing in everything and acknowledging everything that everything we have is by the grace of God and yeah, there’s different personality types that I’ve seen that are very opposite from me that have been wonderful RAs and that I have learned from in ways that I’m weak, in ways that I fall short, and so not to let it discourage you or make you become prideful that you different than another or stronger than another in a different area because ultimately it is up to the Lord. And, not to let it discourage you either if you don’t get it because then the Lord had other plans for how He wanted to use you in a different season and not to let it puff you up if you did get it because it’s not because of you. So yeah, I think just checking pride I guess in those ways too. 

If you had to sum up being an RA in three words, what would you choose?

I like this question… I would definitely say dependence. I know that doesn’t really describe it, but dependence because I have had to depend on the Lord so much, like I knew I would have to, but like so much more than I even thought I would have to. So that, and sweet because there have been moments that while they have been hard, really hard, they have been so sweet and it just makes me thinks of how the Lord uses all things for our good; and so definitely, while acknowledging there’s been difficulties, it’s been at the end of it, just reflecting back on how good the Lord has been through those things…. I think I’m going to go with a blessing, like blessed, it’s been a blessed time– because there have been moments where I just stop and pause and I’m like– I’ve had this thought multiple times throughout being an RA– I will always be so much more blessed by this job than I could do to bless in any way… like the blessing that comes from getting to know you guys and talk about the Lord with you guys and getting to enjoy going to events and even little ways of getting ready together, and just the little things honestly, and the bigger things, but just getting to be blessed by being an RA and the blessing that comes from getting to grow in the Lord in this way. Like there’s nothing special about me as to why I’ve been an RA, but it’s just amazing to see how the Lord makes us more like Himself through what we’re doing for Him, and just ultimately being so blessed to get the privilege of being an RA and getting to do life with people and just have a really unique role that I would have never had anywhere else. So that has been a blessing for sure.